Charlie hears bumps in the night
by The-Prez
Summary: He hears a noise, but what is it?


_What happens on a night in the Serenity. (Ok, probbaly not, but who knows? It technically hasn't happened yet.)_

It's getting close to the evening. Kate and Sawyer are discussing some things. (If Sawyer is capable of that.) Jack walks up to them.

"Hey, guys, how's it going?"

Sawyer replies, "Don't even talk to me

"Sawyer, about your check-up..."

"What's with you and all these check-ups? Something to fix? I'll kick

your ass, give you something to fix."

"Shut your mouth Sawyer, or I'll..."

"Or you'll what? Give me a prostate exam? You're a wimp Jack, a Volvo driving, green tea

drinking, mama's boy,

It's late at night. Charlie is taking a late night shower. In the waterfall. The steam fills up the jungle and stays settled throughout. Charlie is contemplated on why he wants to go home, to his shit two room apartment. But then again, not too much is on his mind now.

Right now he's so tired, he couldn't give a shit if Purple Haze was coming out from the air vents. Which reminded him of the ancient archives of Jimi hendrix music he found during one of his raids in his brothers room. When he first took LSD, he wondered if his pet dog was a unicorn.

Just as he was drifting into thought, (despite it being useless info and random thought.) He hears a noise, a loud bump. It wasn't the normal noise of the Jungle as he had been accustomed to. No, this was something totally different. Something that creeped the hell out of him. He exits the fall.

Charlie looks around. He appears to be dazed and confused. This story could very well take place after a grueling mission in which he faces pure exhaustion. (Pretty much after any Lost episode he appears in, or after any comic book convention)

"Damn that noise, everyone's asleep as I recall?"

He looks around more, but cannot find any towels or clothes. Or anything to cover with for that matter. He's on his own, to say the least.

"Shoot, I'll have to sneak in my tent...so tired though..."

While he's taken the path to the starboard quarters many times, he seems to drift from this path in his state of exhaustion.

In the darkness he bumps the trees a few times, but doesn't make much noise to wake anyone. (Only Charlie, he's a light sleeper. Why he's lived as long as he has.)

He thinks, "Crap, right about now I want to strangle God for designing this piece of shit island.. No wonder I need a Virgin Mary statue." He takes a joint.

He looks around in bewilderment, but then sees something familiar.

"Ah...this should be it."

He moves some branches to the side, and walks in. Alex is there with her gown, and barefooted. She looks up, then down to his crotch.

While staring at the jewels, Her eyes widen and her right eyebrow raises up in curiosity in what shes looking at.

Charlie asks impatiently, "What are you doing here?"

Alex, still enthusiastically staring at his thing . "I came here to warn you guys about

a attack Ben is planning."

"What? I mean...ugh, never mind. What are you looking at?"

"Your penis."

"Alex...um don't tell anyone what you saw."

"What are you referring to? That your right testicle is lower than your left one? Or of your circumcision?"

Charlie shakes his head. He walks away. Alex gives off a smile.

"I see why Claire's impressed..."

Charlie goes back to the beach, the starboard quarters. He has heard the bump a few different times. Each time he gets closer there, it gets bigger.

He follows the rampaging noise to Kate's tent.

"I hear it and it's coming from her tent. This can't be good." He thinks to himself. He had a picture in his mind what was happening, Kate and Sawyer in the tent. He quickly removed that thought.

He opened the entrance to the tent, but Sawyer wasn't there. Kate is there, punching a punching bag with boxer gloves on. She looks and gasps at him. She looks down and her eyes widen.

Charlie says (no pun intended), "Um...sorry. I heard a noise...where did you get that?"

Kate states, "I found it in the hatch. I'm working out."

She looks up and down at him again and smiles.

"You seem to be working out as well?

Charlie shakes his head and leaves.

Kate says, "Damn, nice package."

He travels around the beach, but does manage to finally getting aback to his tent.

He decides that the next time he's so tired and drunk, (apparently there was a party the night before) he'll bring a map with him. He forgot how much he drank with Desmond, but it wasn't helping him.

He enters his tent, to find Claire (with the baby in the cradle) laying down.

"In your bed clothes I see?"

Charlie replied, "I love you, but f you. I'm too tired for sarcasm. I've gotten enough tonight. Let's go to bed."

"Ha Ha, your always one to be direct Charlie. But don't ever talk to me like that. Don't tell me f you, you F piece of dogsh, you..."

Charlie replies "Save it for the morning, let's have sex and go to bed."

"I agree, except for the sex part..ha ha."

He's mad, but he'll make a move on her in the morning. He lays down, and he's just about to go to sleep. But then, he hears a noise. A loud bump, but different than before. Loud enough to keep him awake. His eyes open up, and he lets out a scream.

Claire says, "Shut the f up bit."

We see on the other side of the beach, Hurley and Jin playing Ping pong.

Jin:

(Speaking something)

You don't understand me do you? Lol

Fatso, you smell like dog poo'.

Hurley:

Dude, I so agree. With whatever you said,

The End?


End file.
